Archive for May, 2005Page 2 of 3



Proof that Girls are Evil

First we state that girls require time and money.

Girls = Time x Money


And as we all know “time is money.”

Time = Money


Therefore:

Girls = Money x Money = (Money)²


And because “money is the root of all evil”;

Money = ?Evil


Therefore:

Girls = (?Evil)²


And we are forced to conclude that:

Girls = Evil

A problem with this “proof” occurred to me immediately: Since evil is
negative, the square root of evil must be imaginary, which would mean
that money is imaginary, and therefore, by definition, so is time.
(Note that this “equation” was written by some guy on the internet, not me.)

School Report

So here’s what’s going on in school right now. I just finished making a timeline of inventions made during the Second Industrial Revolution for History. We got this project for History and I’m in a group with a pessimistic and “too mature” girl. I’m just gonna come in tomorrow, being the only one with completed work in the group and go “look who’s the only one who did his work!” That’ll show her.

I got a 96% on my oral book report in English, which was totally unexpected because I knew I sucked but the teacher is a softie, so yeah. Basically, I haven’t learned a single thing in Grade 9 english, expect that I read Romeo and Juliet for the first time in my life. I hope next year will be a bit more enlightening.

I got an 84% on my last Algebra 2 test, which definitely was not satisfying to me, I ran out of time! We are only on Chapter 6, we’ve been moving too slowly because of all the students who don’t do their homework in my class and then don’t know how to do anything and we have to sit around and wait for Ms. Selma to explain everything to the whole class. Boring!

Science, I was amazed that I am getting a higher average this semester, something to do with one of my lab reports being “good” according to Mr. Benton. Science is interesting, but I sometimes feel like the teacher is intimidating me (not just me, but most people).

My Mandarin (Chinese) average is like 20% higher this semester (I worked harder, that’s why). I’ve been doing daily extra work and I must say, it has really improved my Chinese writing skills. Now I have to work harder on my speaking and reading skills. My pronounciation in below par.

Physical Education, I have no idea how I am doing in that. I mean I can do the things we learn in class no problem, maybe I should work on my “sportsmanship” to get Mr. Shortt happy (he likes it when students cheer up others).

Computers, well…. computers. It has now become my most hated subjects but I look forward to it the most. Mr. Lem still doesn’t teach, period. This is how he “provides us with information to get a good score on the test”: 1. shows PowerPoint presentation with some of the information that will supposedly be on the test, 2. gives us these discussion questions to answer on this forum, 3. tells us to read the book for some extra information, 4. gives out superhard test which a lot of people fail and, 5. puts in the uberlow score in his “grade” software. The good thing is that once you finish your work, instant “do whatever you want”. I usually surf the net or play games like most people in the class.

Wow, a report on how I am doing in school got this long? That’s amazing. Well, hopefully I will be getting an Honor Roll this year, I think Principal Honor Roll is out of the question. I have to get over a 3 or higher GPA to actually feel good. At this point in time, I am getting like 3.4, everything will change after exams, most probably for the worse. Well, that’s all I got for my school report. Good luck to me on my exams which come up in a matter of weeks.

Lapko, out. (thanks for the line, Ryan Seacrest)

Firefox: Now over 50,000,000 users!

Firefox hit the big 50 million user mark! I am a Firefox user and I’m loving it so congratulations Firefox and all Firefox users for making it have over 50 million users worldwide. If you haven’t downloaded Firefox yet, you gotta be kidding. And if you use Internet Explorer and are just tired of all the ads, popups, and other crap that comes with it, join the revolution… and download Firefox right now!. Don’t wait, be a smart internet user!

Communicating with Your Cat

I found the following article on The Humane Society of the United States website and thought it was quite interesting. It is pretty long so you probably won’t even read any of it if you aren’t interested in cats. I also found a site that tells you (for FREE!) how to toilet-train your cat: link. This is probably only for people with cats or for people who are interested in cats.

You and your cat may speak different languages, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t communicate with each other. While every cat is different, there is a common code of expression—a set of signals—that you can learn to read easily. Indicators such as the look in your cat’s eyes, the tone of her voice, the position of her ears, and the motion of her tail can provide important clues regarding your companion’s feelings and intentions.

For starters, you can talk to your cat. Some people feel silly speaking to cats, because they think animals can’t understand them. Yet these same people may feel comfortable carrying on long one-sided conversations with infants. Cats do receive information from your conversation: praise, comfort, and a sense of security.

You can get information, too. The more cats are spoken to, the more they will speak back. You will learn a lot from your cat’s wide vocabulary of chirps and meows. You will know when it is time to get up (at least in your cat’s opinion), when your cat is feeling affectionate, or when your cat is feeling threatened or is in pain. Your cat doesn’t necessarily have something urgent to tell you; a passing meow in the hallway may be a simple hello.

You can also tell a great deal about what cats want or how they are feeling simply by the look in their eyes or their reaction to things. Are your cat’s ears twitching in your direction like satellite dishes when you are speaking? He is absorbing everything you are saying. Does your cat’s back rise up to meet your hand when you pet him? This means your cat is enjoying this contact with you. Does his back seem to collapse away under your slightest touch? Your cat is on his way somewhere and doesn’t want to be held up, even by a favorite person.

If your cat crouches low to the ground, he is feeling uneasy. If your cat stands on his toes, you are probably being asked to pick up your cat. Raised hair on the back and a puffed-out tail are universal signs of hostility or defensiveness. But how about a quivering tail? That is the greatest expression of adoration any cat can bestow upon a human. But a thrashing tail shows the mood has shifted to intense agitation.

Most kittens are eager to learn how to please you. You can easily correct behavior in a young cat with a gentle but firm tone and a demonstration of the proper way to do things. Praise your kitten when you point out the litter box and scratching post.

Depending upon how happy and peaceful their former lives were, older cats may be a little more difficult to teach, but they are well worth the effort. Patience and kindness should help maintain most ground rules. Hitting your pet is cruel and accomplishes nothing—it will only teach your cat to be afraid of you. A good discipline tool is a spray bottle filled with water. Catch the cat in the act of scratching the sofa or jumping on the sink and spritz the culprit with a gentle spray of water. (Your cat will associate the behavior with the unpleasant experience of water, but will not associate you with the unpleasant experience.) Then be sure to offer your cat an acceptable outlet for his behavior, and praise him when he does the right thing.

Cats are not spiteful creatures—that’s one of their most admirable qualities. Contrary to popular assumption, a cat who has a lapse in remembering ground rules or stops using the litter box is not trying to get even with or punish her owner. Your cat may be feeling out of balance, and these signs should alert you that your cat may be unwell or that something else is amiss. There probably is a good reason for this behavior, and it’s up to you to figure out what it is.

A cat who stops using the litter box, for example, may be getting a bladder infection. Cats will associate the litter pan with the pain they feel upon urinating and avoid using the litter, or the cat may not like the brand of litter you’ve started using, or the cat may not feel comfortable using the box where it is kept. Other things that may disturb your cat may have to do with your behavior: Have you changed your routine or are you under stress or feeling sad? Cats’ behavior may alter with any alteration in their routine or environment, such as a new cat or a new home. If abnormal behavior persists, have your veterinarian check your cat for any medical problems. If no medical problems exist, your veterinarian may suggest an animal behavior specialist.

Dookie by Green Day: Album Review

I am going to review another Green Day album, this type it being Dookie. It was made back in the early 90’s but I would have to say that Green Day’s older music is better than American Idiot by leaps and bounds. I actually have all of their albums except ‘Internation Superhits’ and most of them are good. If you don’t believe me, listen to them yourself. OK, back to Dookie. The album has 14 songs and a secret song called “All by Myself”. That secret song really sucks and it’s just weird. The other music is really good though. Here are the songs in order:

1. Burnout
2. Having a Blast
3. Chump
4. Longview
5. Welcome to Paradise
6. Pulling Teeth
7. Basket Case

8. She
9. Sassafras Roots
10. When I Come Around
11. Coming Clean
12. Emenius Sleepus
13. In the End Listen
14. F.O.D./All By Myself [Hidden Track]

As most of you may know, Green Day is a punk rock band from California. My two favorite songs have got to be ‘Longview’ and ‘Basket Case’ which are both classical pop hits from the 90s. The band practically took 70’s and 80’s rock and pop and put it into a great 90’s bundle. Green Day’s ability to make fast pace but also slow and mellow songs is a really big aspect of their popularity. I will give this album 10/10 for those great 14 songs put on my iPod.